Teaching · Way of Perfection
All must love one another
The golden rule of life in community — in a convent, in a family, in a prayer group.
“All must love one another, all must hold one another dear, all must help one another; and let them guard, for the love of God, against these particular friendships, however holy they may seem.”
Saint Teresa of Jesus — Way of Perfection, ch. 4
To understand
A love without factions
Saint Teresa founded small communities, and she knew danger number one: cliques. The “particular friendships” — closed circles that exclude the rest — poison a house even when they look holy.
Her remedy is a love of all for all: caring for one another, helping one another, with no favorites and no one left out. It applies equally to a family, a prayer group or a community: where there are factions, love grows cold; where everyone counts, God dwells.
The source
Way of Perfection, chapter 4
In the first chapters of the Way, the Saint lays the three foundations of life in common: love for one another, detachment and humility. Without them — she says — no prayer can stand.
Another word of hers
“The first is love for one another; the second, detachment from all created things; the third, true humility, which, though I name it last, is the chief one and embraces all the rest.”
Saint Teresa of Jesus — Way of Perfection, ch. 4
To pray and to teach
How to bring this teaching into prayer
This is how we use it in the prayer group; it works just as well for praying alone or as a family.
1
Read slowly
Read the text twice, aloud, without hurry. The second time, slower than the first.
2
Keep silence
A moment of silence. Let one word or phrase stay with each person.
3
Talk through the questions
Share unhurriedly and without debate: nothing is argued here — we share what God is showing us.
4
End with a resolution
Each person names one concrete step for the week, and you close with a prayer.
Questions to talk about
- Is there someone in my community or family who has been left outside my affection? Why?
- Do my closest friendships open the circle or close it?
- Whom can I help this week who is not one of “my own”?
For daily life
Three ways to practice it this week
1
Greet first the person you feel least close to in your group or family.
2
Say of no one absent what you would not say in their presence.
3
Invite into your circle someone who usually stays outside.